The Unstuck Hybrid

Some early thoughts on the subject.

A lot of people are hybrids. There are personality hybrids, perhaps having both introverted and extroverted tendencies. There are cognition hybrids, having both strong analytical and emotional capacities. There are cultural hybrids, who may have become so by spending meaningful parts of their lives in more than one culture. You name it. The list is long.

Most hybrids achieve a state of relative stability with their hybrid aspects. So, an extro-introvert might be relied on be a boisterous attention seeker under one set of conditions and a seeker of private time under another. An emo-analytic might grow to be comfortable letting their analytic aspect dominate while occasionally giving their emo side the spotlight. A cultural hybrid might assert one cultural pattern in their food practices and preferences and another in relationship expectations. And so on. The potential combinations are rich. But the typical pattern is that things eventually settle into something that’s mostly predictable and stable.

The unstuck hybrid is someone who either never had this stability or has lost it.

And it can be uncomfortable as f***.

So, the first thing an unstuck hybrid needs to understand is that it’s pretty unlikely you’ll ever be completely comfortable. Allow yourself to be pulled in the different directions you are being pulled in and use it as a source for mining experience.

Second, don’t look for or expect things to be tidy. For you, tidy is an illusion based on structures that are themselves illusions. It works wonders for many, but it’s just not going to be your thing. Others won’t get it. You won’t get it. Relax. It’s OK.

Third, recognize that your unstuckness will be a burden for some people. It’s going to weird them out that you’re inconsistent. You may lose friends who see this messiness as a kind of weakness. That’s a shame, but you know everyone gets to make their own choices about who they want in their life and why.

Fourth, look for meta-patterns. You might have some core values that all your messiness aligns with, and that says a lot about you. But it’s OK if you don’t.

Finally, in spite of, or perhaps to spite, all this, it’s important for you to embrace being unstuck for the opportunity it is. Be solid with the understanding that in exchange for your messiness and discomfort, you get to explore some wickedly dynamic territory and maybe create some meaningful trouble. This not only means your life will probably not be dull, but it also makes you a valuable social asset.