Never can say goodbye

A couple days ago, I sold my home in Istanbul. Yesterday, per Turk Telekom’s instructions, I went in person their headquarters to sign the documents necessary to make my cancellation of Internet service official.

Today I get the following call.

TT: You applied to cancel your Internet service. Is now a convenient time to talk about canceling your service?

Me: Not really, but let’s do it anyway.

TT: Before I finalize the cancellation, I want to ask you why are canceling your service. You are a long-time customer.

Me: I have moved out of the country.

TT: Well, I can offer you a blah blah blah deal at a low, low cost of blah blah.

Me: Did you hear the part where I said I no longer live here?

TT: How about if I reduce your monthly cost to blah blah?

Me: Hello? I’m not going to use Internet service from you, ever.

TT: What do you say to (an even lower rate)?

Me: What do you say to zero lira and zero kurus and you provide me nothing?

TT: You don’t have a friend or a relative here who … ?

Me: No. You’re really wasting your time.

TT: Don’t you want service available when you come back?

Me: No. I no longer live in this country and I’m not coming back. You’re not going to sell me anything. Stop trying and cancel my account.

TT: (Another attempt at selling me something.)

[I’m sort of amused at how long this can go on. But eventually …]

Me: Look, if you don’t wrap this up now, I’m going to hang up.

TT: (Another attempt at selling me something.)

Me: You’ve totally wasted your time and now you’re really wasting mine. You have one more chance to finalize things before I hang up.

TT: Very well. I am finalizing your cancellation.

TT: Would you like to suspend your account instead?

Me: No.

TT: What is the reason for your canceling the service?

Me: I moved out of this country.

TT: I am processing your request to cancel. Do you approve the cancellation of your account?

Me: Yes.

TT: Thank you very much for your time.

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